House of Cards

see your future in lines etched into your hands

see it in tea leaves scattered in water

see it in a crystal ball

a pack of cards.

I've always been obsessed with finding fate.

fortune tellers, for what do I wait.

and Chamki has inspired me to make a set of my own tarot cards

using photoshop, stock photos, my photos, scans, doodles, found objects

and archetypal symbols I've set out.

only done 10/78. a long way to go.

but there's always time.

Water in my eye. in the sky

The moon on a leaf
or water.

some cold mornings everything shimmers
water hangs on your skin like stars

never seen by waking eyes. Under moving skies.
I shrunk to the size of me little finger

and lost myself in wildflowergalaxies

and wildflowers
rose like towers
who could tell the difference.

Black Milk

"Darkened skin Afraid to seeRadiate Open lips Keep smiling for me

Weightless cool honeysuckleFair skin frecklesUncut teethTranquil eyes under your feet
Weightless falls honeysuckleStrangers (strange this) Lights from pagesPaper thin thing

Protected by the naked eye"

Red Riding Hood

"i have a self to recover,"

and then she bursts into the sky, a red comet."

Red was her color.

And when I found her.

I wrapped her up.

(But sometimes.

colours change)

dressed in the color of my desires

when you dance

the air around you changes colour
and spreads its wings
'dressed in the color of my desires,
you go your way naked as my thoughts,
I travel your eyes, like the sea,'
'you open my chest with your fingers of water,
you close my eyes with your mouth of water,
you rain on my bones'
in the folds of your skin
like a serpent.
I wait.

Done by me on photoshop.

'I prayed to rediscover my childhood and it has come back
and I feel that it is just as difficult as it used to be
and that growing up has served no purpose at all.'

your strength is just an accident arising out of the weakness of others.
All I see are their eyes.
I should be loyal to the nightmare of my choice.

Pictures taken a couple of years ago
with me nikon f55

Stormclouds in teacups. The River
finds its way to the sea
through your eyes.

Hampi July 2007
((I revisited Hampi last month.lots of stories
about snakes, pebbles, cards that speak and shadows coming up)

Coonoor, Circles and Fish in the Sky

the earth laughs in flowers

your hands in black water

voices out of a cloud lotus feet

7 of us. broken silences. fish in the sky, insane colours, feeling like a serpent, fractals,

a dead butterfly and a million revelations in the garden of eden.

archetypes, starry nights of splendor,getting lost in the whispering woods and so much more.

you are the center of my universe.
Location: a house on a hill

October 2007

your eyes have their silence

I've always been afraid
of bringing things I create with my hands
into a digital world. I was afraid that maybe somewhere between the
blinking screen and the ink on my fingers
something would be lost. like the silver key you kept in your coat pocket.

blue lines that only some light can percieve.
I've decided to trust electrons zipping through invisible space
with my soul stretched out in inks

And scan pages off my notebook. for a million mirrors to see.
and open me.

"we can create kingdoms of our own
grand purple thrones
those chairs of lust
and love we must
on beds of rust"

Red Like Apple.

Photograph of me by lovely Preanca Daga. :)

Red.
hundreds of broken red flowers on the floor. Red bangles on the goddess' wrists Incense. Smoke.

Red like Fire. Red like love. Like Anger. Like hate. Like sex.
Red like earth.
Red like apple.
like temptation. like roses. like desire. like destruction. like sun. Red like lust. Like Cherries.
Like Wine. Like touch.
there was red sindoor on the floor, on our foreheads, on our fingers.

Butterflies and Hurricanes

'I fell in love with a butterfly once.'

I held her in my arms.

'I want you for dreaming
not for love'

me beaootiful mother.
she now has a blog that I maintain.
go fishity :)
Nilofer Suleman

Tired heart

Summer sinks its teeth into our flesh.
I can't go on.these trains move too fast. Like snakes on railwaytrackladders.
Seeing you.Your eyes pierce through my flesh like swords.
I'm crippled.I'm afraid.I'm lost.
I pity. and your house of cards melts to the floor.

I have nothing. Not dreams. Not love. Not thoughts of my own.
suspended being.supreme predator.division of labour.
a cup to fill with coins.

the second official photograph I ever took.
3 years ago.
we found that dragonfly together.
We held her in our arms.
it was too late to save her.
so we made her a home in the soil.
and let her fall asleep for a hundred years. or more.

the first photograph I ever took.
he was blind and singing
on the steps leading to a temple.
with many blind men whispering prayers
and singing praises.

Return to Sender

You rain on me. I sky you.
wings. water.
childhood.
blue tenderness.
waves between our fingers.
milk and honey
i wish i was.
falling into faraway eyes
like paper planes through space.

let me take you down

somewhere i have never travelled,
beyond
any experience
where your eyes can have their silence

let me take you down
see your beauty broken down.
'In pitch dark I go walking in your landscape'

Radiohead

'Music is the electrical soil in which the spirit lives, thinks and invents'

'Shape without form, shade without colour,
Paralysed force, gesture without motion;....
...
Is it like this
In death's other kingdom
Waking alone
At the hour when we are
Trembling with tenderness
Lips that would kiss
Form prayers to broken stone.'

Oranges and Tea- Cherrapunji

When we got there the sun was setting and all was a dull orange with its juices dried up and spilling onto the sky.

The sky's a fancy purple shop where clouds can now buy wings.
Everything is coloured like oranges and tea.
There was sky. there were clouds. and all of us were swimming in this strange little town.
the wettest place on earth.We were in the clouds. IN the clouds. Walking down the winding streets of this village proved to be difficult because We couldn't see what was two feet ahead of us.
Through the mist children would emerge. Smiling with little red umbrellas in their hands. They wave and giggle as I take their pictures and give them bracelets from my arms as gifts. By the end of the walk I had given away all my coloured glass beads from my wrists to them. Rainbow wrists no more.
They lived in little houses with small square gardens filled with flowerpots and ponds (with frogs in the ponds one small girl told me in broken hindi).I want children I realized.Hah. I want to live in a small bluewoodenhouse in the hills with many little children with a pond in the garden with frogs in it where everything is wet and one walks out of the door and onto a cloud. Or by the sea in a sandcastle with a little girl with flowing hair and I'll collect shells with her all day long and make more sandcastles only so they can be destroyed again by the crashing waves.
Beh. In my artclass there's this little girl who I show glitter to and tell her I've scraped it off a rainbow and she believes it. and she sits on my lap in everyclass and cries on my shoulder if her painting isn't the way she wanted it to be as I stroke her hair and tell her its beautiful.
I think I should keep her.
I want too much. too fast I think.

Back from dreamsequence to Cherapunji. I bought a red raincoat at a small ramshackle shop.

Its plastic and its translucent and its wonderful.
like the one I owned when I was young.
By the truckload 'they' cautioned us along the way to remember poor Hansel and Gretel Who got lost in the woods and other feelings we could wear no more: miniature labyrinths we could no longer find our way back into. I shoulder my disguise and try to capture the rain in the palm of my hand.
May 2007
'wind in
and the smell of your hair
i hit as hard as i can
with my nose
jumping into a puddle
wearing no boots
completely soaked (dripping wet)
wearing no boots'
sigur ros,Hoppípolla

Cold Feet

you stood
upon toes
upon earth
upon stars.
we were not afraid then.

We were supposed to run. We were ready with a suitcase and some skeletons in our closet.
the sky was green. it made me happy.


'Footfalls echo in the memory
Down the passage which we did not take
Towards the door we never opened'